Friends' devotion to Alyssa Barberi transcends time

By Ginny Privitar
CHESTER — Some classmates, now young adults, came from colleges far away to pay tribute to Alyssa Barberi, the friend they lost in sixth grade, at the "5K Butterfly Run/Walk" held in her memory.
The Chester Elementary School student died suddenly on March 8, 2009, at age 11. But her memory lives on in her family, friends and fellow classmates, who meet at the event every October.
Those who knew her best shared their memories at the Oct. 15 event.
“Today is a special day honoring and memorializing my beautiful daughter Alyssa, along with her fellow classmates who returned from college this weekend to be part of this...and keep her memory alive," said Susan Barberi, Alyssa’s mom. "This morning funds a memorial scholarship, which is given out to a graduating senior.”
Mariela Fuentes, who is attending The Culinary Institute of America, said Alyssa was her best friend.
"She was always there for me," she said. "Just the way that she was — she always brought light into the room. Her laugh and her little special chipmunk dance were always funny and would always cheer me up. This day means a lot because obviously she’s not here. She was an amazing person....This is a very special day and I’m happy I could be included in it.”
Amanda Almodovar, currently a student at Mount Saint Mary College, said the day meant a lot to everyone gathered.
"We all started in first grade and coming back every year just means a lot," she said. "We all come back together because she would have been here, too."
Kathryn Jankelunas attends James Madison College in East Lansing, Michigan.
"She went to the doctor that weekend and they thought it was a common cold," she said, recalling that fateful time. "We saw Alyssa Friday at school and then we heard about it that weekend and didn’t understand really what was happening.”
And it wasn’t until later that they discovered that her heart was affected by influenza.
"It was amazing because Mrs. Barberi through all that stayed so strong," Kathryn recalled. "During that time I remember her distinctively telling me, ‘I’m not leaving my girls. I will be with you girls through all of it.’”
Susan Barberi was, and remained, Girl Scout Leader for Troop 325 from Chester.
“Every time that people asked Mrs. Barberi how she did it, she said, ‘My girls helped me through it.’ But she really helped us through it. She was really our crutch through the whole process."
Kathryn said Mrs. Barberi did not let her grief isolate her from the community.
“Obviously she was upset as a mother would be, but really helped the community," she said. "It made the whole difference. The fact that even today, she’s still making the effort and keeping Alyssa’s memory is inspiring, and I will take that inspiration throughout my whole life.”
Classmate Makenna Rose attends the University of South Carolina.
“It means a lot, especially that so many people still come out, years later," she said. "And a lot of us are in college now, and it means a lot that everyone still comes home from college. I drove up from South Carolina to be here. And it’s nice to see the seniors even now — like my younger brother. Everyone — they get their whole class together. All the teachers come out and bring their kids, so all the kids get to run, and it’s very exciting.”
Elise Bukowski, who attends the University of Massachusetts at Amherst said having a tragedy happen at a young age "really hits home."
"We were in the Girl Scout Troop, all of us," she said. "It was hard growing up, but it really helped us come together as a community, especially as a Girl Scout Troop and with Mrs. Barberi, too. She kind of acted like a mother to all of us...It really shows how strong she was. She didn’t just hide in the shadows when tragedy hit. She really came forward and helped everyone in the community and became even more involved in the community, which really was inspiring. Growing up as young girls, it really showed us how we should act when we grow up and how we should really be in helping the community."
She knows the devotion of Alyssa's many friends will remain unchanged.
"I’ll be 40 and I’m still going to come back and run the race and help out. Even though she’s not here with us today," said Elise. "Her memory is always going to run through our veins and through who we are and really helped impact us today. I want to stress how much it impacted us as people. Whenever I see a butterfly" — Alyssa’s favorite — "I always think of Alyssa.”
Time has dried the tears, even while memories remain strong. In fact, there were smiles all around, and one light moment made everyone laugh heartily. As medals were handed out to runners in different age categories, Gabriel Thomas, a Middletown resident and student at John S. Burke Catholic High School, heard his name called. Before he could step up from the back of the crowd, little Gabriel Burgos, age 3, heard his first name called. He promptly stepped up and extended his arm for the medal. In a gesture of grace and generosity, Gabriel Thomas gave his medal to little Gabriel Burgos to keep.
Editor's note: Alyssa's last day of school was Friday, March 6, 2009. That weekend she felt ill and was taken to the doctor, who thought it was a cold or virus. Two days later, she died. Subsequent tests determined that she had Influenza B, which had also attacked her heart, causing myocarditis.